My Poor Starving Child

So J-Man came home from school today and the first words out of his mouth were:

You need to send more lunch tomorrow.

Now, I sent the same amount of food in his lunch today as I have sent for the past 3 weeks without complaint EXCEPT that I omitted the cookie. I decided that he was getting enough sugar from the jam on the sandwich and the fruit, so he didn't need a cookie. I informed him of my decision while I was packing his lunch this morning. So here's the rest of the conversation.

Me: So you were hungry? You must have eaten the snack I packed, right?
J-Man: (looking sideways) Some of it.
(I took the still full container of trail mix out of his bag.)
Me: Whoa! You couldn't have been that hungry since you didn't eat more than two peanuts out of here. Did you have anything else to eat during the day?
J-Man: Yes, an apple.
Me: Where did you get the apple?
J-Man: From the helper.
Me: So you told her that your mom didn't pack enough lunch and you were still hungry so she gave you an apple?
J-Man: Yes.
Me: Did you tell her that you had a snack in your bag?
J-Man: No.
Me: Did you tell her that you refused to eat the breakfast that I made for you this morning?
J-Man: No.
Me: So all you told her was that your mom didn't pack enough lunch?
J-Man: Yes.
Me: So she gave you an apple and told you to tell me that I should send more food tomorrow?
J-Man: Yes.
Me: I'm really looking forward to parent-teacher conferences.

So when the husband got home from work, he was trying to talk to J-Man about the whole lunch thing. Much of the conversation was a repeat from above until the end:

Dad: So you got an apple from the helper because you told her that you were still hungry?
J-Man: Yes.
Dad: But you didn't eat breakfast or your snack?
J-Man: No.
Dad: That wasn't a very good job.
J-Man: You know when you say that you're emptying my bucket.

Emptying his bucket!?!? You have got to be kidding!!! Can I just tell you how empty my bucket is? And I'm sure that call I'm going to get from the teacher tomorrow about my poor starving child is just going to fill it right up to the brim.

Emptying his bucket. Give me a break.

Update on Max the Dog

Unfortunately, Max the Dog had to go back from whence he came. He had a couple of issues (like snapping at the kids and trying to eat the cat) and we have all the issues we can currently handle in this household.

We are still on the hunt for a relatively issue-less dog. Like one whose owner did a great jog training her (Did I mention that I never want another male dog? I find stopping at every vertical object more than just a little annoying.)but now has to go to the nursing home or a dog-free apartment. That kind of a dog. It could take awhile, I think. Like until the kids move out.

Post-Placement Report

In my last post I mentioned that the social worker was coming on Thursday night for our final post-placement report to Russia. This is our third social worker since we started the adoption process about 4 years ago. The first one was (in retrospect) completely incompetent. The second one was better. It took us four years to get a social worker who actually knew what she was doing. Pathetic.

She pretty much admitted that there was a huge group of people adopting from Russia at the same time we did, and that the agency hired all sorts of semi-qualified social workers to handle the homestudies. Just another piece of info to add to my "angry file". I'll put it next to the part about the doctor who was supposed to be an expert in internationally adopted children but missed the fact that my son has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. Would have been nice to start working on that issue, say, three years ago.

And the fact that I had to answer three pages of questions regarding J-Man's development and growth, and turn in ten photos showing our "happy family" so that the Russian authorities can be assured that we're doing a good job just ticks me off to no end. We have these problems because of the pervasive poverty and acceptance of alcoholism in the Russian culture, and the flawed orphanage system where unwanted children are warehoused. And they want to make sure that I'm doing a good job? How dare they.

Usually the anger isn't so near the surface anymore, but this report just brought it all bubbling back up again. I wish that one of the someones who caused the problems was the one sitting in waiting rooms and going broke from out-of-pocket expenses. I wish that same someone had to suffer the frustration of a perpetual toddler in a growing body who will never live up to the potential that, at the very beginning of his life, he had. All because a woman didn't care about taking care of her child and a culture didn't care enough to help her. The unfairness of it all is just overwhelming. Sad. Frustrating. Heartbreaking.

Overwhelmed

Have you ever felt relieved that your kids were sick so that you could cancel some activities? Wow, did I ever get myself in over my head this week. School started for the girls, we had two therapy appointments, a dentist appointment, piano lessons, meetings at J-Man's school, church activities, sports activities, co-op, and (for the icing on the cake) the social worker is coming tomorrow night for our last post-placement report to Russia. Golly, I can't wait! (sarcasm) Will I have time to run the vacuum before then? Not sure. She may just have to see our home in full-out tornado mode. And now I've gone and added a crazy dog to the mix. The verdict is still out on whether he's going to stay.

Pretty much just hanging on until the weekend when things will slow down for awhile.

I hope.

Our Week

These two pictures tell the story of our week:

J-Man waiting for the school bus.


Max the Dog. We're hoping that he and Emily the Cat can learn to live together.

What a Day

After a whole lot of pomp and circumstance, J-Man finally got on the bus this morning at 8:34 and headed to school. And since the Ks were camping with their dad, I gleefully scampered out the door to run some errands. I'd like to say I was lonely today. But I can't. I'd like to say I missed them all. But I didn't. In fact, I got some stuff done today that I've needed to do for about 2 months. It was great.

Then this afternoon, the dog that we're hoping to adopt came over for a meet and greet with the cat. He was here about 3 hours. I'd like to say that they liked each other. But they didn't. And now the cat is rather angry with me. So I'm off to buy a crate and a collar and tomorrow I'll pick him up and we'll go to our first obedience training class. I'm guessing I'll be the one getting trained.

I'm feeling a little tired and wiggly-tummied. (I love that expression - from a blog I read.) All-in-all, quite an exciting day in my little world.

Freudian?

Don't read if you're squeamish about bathroom stuff...

I had this dream last night that I walked in on J-Man while he was using the bathroom. (I often do this in Awake World for supervisory purposes, since he does stuff like stick his head in the toilet or cover the counter with liquid soap.) He had clogged the toilet and the disgusting toilet water was starting to overflow. But, in true J-Man-like fashion, instead of calling for help he had started to disassemble the toilet in order to fix the problem himself. Let's just say I was unhappy with him.

So this morning, I'm pondering my dream. Was it just a coincidence that I was "unhappy" about J-Man's overflowing crap and his inability/unwillingness to accept help? Or was my subconscious speaking to me? Hmmm....

Dog Hunting

I've caved. I'm so tired of having to say "no" to the girls because of all J-Man's crap, that I finally said "yes" to a dog. Not sure yet how this is going to turn out. I can tell you this, I'm not going to get sucked in by another pretty face. I've learned a hard lesson about that, thank you very much.

Since we aren't interested in a purebred puppy, I've been scouring Petfinder for mutt mixes that include a healthy dose of Golden or Labrador Retriever. Some of these dogs are at Humane Societies, but the majority of them are cared for by Rescue Organizations. Now, you would think that these people WANT you to adopt a dog (Isn't that their mission, after all?) but I'm not so sure. You would also think that if I could get Russia to give me a human being, then I could get a small, volunteer-staffed agency to give me a dog. Maybe I could just turn in my homestudy from the adoption? Probably not. I don't think they checked to see if we had a fenced yard.

Just to lay an eyeball on one of these mutts, we're required to undergo a lengthy home study process wherein we reveal all manner of personal information, allow home visits (both pre- and post-placement) and provide several references. Good grief! I just want to have a look at a dog! If a social worker ever came to my door, I could just tell him/her that we managed to pass the inspection of a Canine Rescue Organization. Problem solved.

Let me just say, by way of a disclaimer, that I'm sure not all rescue organizations are quite so...ummmm...enthusiastic?...as a couple we've hit upon. And I do appreciate the work that many of them do to socialize, train and provide vet services to animals in order to make them adoptable. I'm sure we'll eventually find someplace we can work with and we'll end up with a great dog.