Imperceptible

Do you want to know one of the most frustrating parts about having MS? I don't look sick. Which can actually also be a blessing...you can only take so much pity, after all. But on the other hand, my family tends to forget that I don't operate at full steam anymore. Ever. Even on good days.

Need a nap in the afternoon?
Tough.
Don't feel like I can handle that social obligation?
Too bad.
Not up to making dinner?
Wait...what? This is going to affect us? Hold on, we didn't sign up for this.
Stinks, doesn't it. I didn't volunteer for it, either.

And for all the forgetting that they're able to do, I can never forget. Among other things, my eyesight is shot, my skin burns, my left hand goes numb and I'm incredibly, overwhelmingly exhausted on some days. I am reminded, even as I sit here and type with my right eye closed, that things are awry.

Not wanting pity. We have thankfully moved past that uncomfortable stage with most of our friends and acquaintances. What I would like is some understanding and support. I am not faking, I did not have that spinal tap and 3 MRIs for fun, and I do not enjoy planning my days around my symptoms. If I can minimize stress and avoid becoming overtired, I can maximize my ability to function on a daily basis. But I'm finding that it takes cooperation from those around me. Which would be easier to get if I looked sick.

And there's the rub.