Project Progress

There's nothing like house guests to give you a kick in the seat of your pants to finish some projects. I blogged, way back at the beginning of summer, that I was going to redo my bedroom. We finally finished it up last week. Here are a couple of pictures.

Before:

After:

We painted, ripped out carpeting and got an area rug, added all new bedding and curtains along with couple of new bedside tables and a lamp. I was a frequent visitor to Ikea for awhile. I think they like it when I do a project. :)

I also found a spot to hang these silhouettes that my mother-in-law had made of the kids.

One bedroom down, three more to go this winter. I can't decide if I should work on Big K's drywall only room or J-Man's pink room first. Probably whoever makes the most noise...that would be Big K.

Update on the Glasses

So I took J-Man's glasses back to the optical store yesterday. I think the guy, upon catching sight of them, said, "Wow, that's hard to do."

Now keep in mind that when I walked into the store last week to pick out these frames, I asked for the sturdiest ones they had. I did not care about shape or color. (In fact, I had no idea what color they were until I went to pick them up.) I wanted durable. These frames are specifically made for children. They are flexible and can take quite a bit of abuse. Apparently many customers have given them good reviews for durability. But then my son got hold of them.

When the nice man brought the repaired glasses back out, I asked him what exactly would have to happen to cause that kind of damage. He indicated that you would have to bend them in half and then hold them that way for awhile. (Also keep in mind that J-Man had been denying having any knowledge of how the damage had occurred.) He also told me that it usually takes a considerable amount of heat to make these flexible frames maintain a shape change. I think he might have been a little impressed that a kid could do that kind of damage with just his hands. I'm trying not to think about it.

So now we're thinking that we could hire J-Man out to the Consumer Reports Test Lab. I'm pretty sure he could break some stuff that they've never seen broken before. Is it illegal for 7-year-olds to work?

Should Have Known Better

Picked out a new pair of glasses for J-Man last week because his old pair were in pretty bad shape. Cost $260. Out of pocket, of course. Picked them up at 9:30 this morning. By 4:30 this afternoon he had bent them so badly that we took them away. Going back to the optical store on Monday to have them repaired. He will be allowed to wear them only when supervised. Feeling a little discouraged tonight.

Report Card

So J-Man brought his first report card home from school yesterday. The academic part was as expected...way below where a first grader should be functioning. But he's made some progress in a couple of areas. So that's good, right? Except I feel cruddy that I couldn't get him to make as much progress at home.

He got a GLOWING (if I knew how to make that word flash in neon pink, I would do it) personal review from his teacher. He's a lovely child, tries hard, handles his temper well, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. I should have been overjoyed, right? My son is doing great in school, so I should rejoice and be glad. You know what, I was angry. What kind of a horrible mom am I? I was angry that his teacher thinks he's awesome but I don't. I was angry that he saves all his good stuff for school and falls apart the minute he walks in the door every afternoon. I was angry that one more person doesn't understand what he's really like, so I must be the problem. But I put on my game face and told him that I was pleased with how well he's doing.

Later his therapist helped me work through it. Of course he's doing well at school, it plays to his strengths. He's in a special ed facility, so class sizes are small. He's in a room with 8 students, 1 teacher and a para pro. Not to mention the constantly rotating cast of therapists and specialists that come through. He gets one-on-one attention all day long from a variety of people, allowing him to spread thin his personal relationships. Plus, his activities are rigidly structured. He never has to made a decision about anything or keep himself occupied. Perfect for him. And you know what, I'll bet they never have to stop to throw in a load of laundry, clean up cat barf, or get dinner started.

And then there are differing expectations. I expect him to function as a member of the family and love me like his mother, which he is incapable of doing. His teachers expect him to function like a special ed student, which he does perfectly. Of course he meets their expectations and not mine.

So it all boils down to this: He is comfortable in an institutional environment. He understands the rules to the game and how to fit in. He is not comfortable in a family environment. It is a completely foreign culture to him...like visiting a foreign country where you don't speak the language. So no, I can't give him the orphanage ambiance in my home like they can at school. But you know what, I really don't want to. And I'm OK with that.